The First Day of Kindergarten

This is Elias on his first day, ready with Star Wars lunch box (recycled from Joseph who found it in his parents' attic during their big move a few years ago).  His backpack is Star Wars too.  He fell on the sidewalk while playing outside the night before, cutting up his elbow (you'll notice his neon green band-aid) and scraped his nose.  Poor thing.

This is Elias, my big kid, getting on the bus without even looking back at Ethan and I.  Through the tinted window, I glimpsed Elias with an anxious look on his face as he sat down next to the neighbor girl, Alora.  I pasted on a smile and waved. The bus driver closed the door and drove off.  Just like that, it was over.  My kid was off to kindergarten.

Joseph, who had off again because Baltimore County Public Schools closed again today because of power outages as a result of Hurricane Irene, took Ethan and Austen for a walk.  The other moms wandered back to their respective houses.  I walked back to our house alone to get my purse to go to work.  I didn't allow myself to cry like I wanted to because I knew Elias would be all right, trusting that he's gonna thrive in school.  And he will.  And most importantly, I was so proud of Elias for boldly climbing on that bus despite how apprehensive he felt twenty minutes earlier.

This is Elias at the end of his first day of kindergarten.  I got a big hug and a smile. "The bus ride was so awesome," he says first thing.  Enough said.

Irene interrupted kindergarten.

Hurricane Irene closed Howard County Schools today, so the first day of school has been postponed.  Elias was relieved.  He's worried about riding the bus.  He insists that I should drive him to school instead because there are no mommies on the bus.

The electricity has been restored today, so tomorrow is the first day of school.  I'm still trying to convince myself to be Ms. Enthusiasm while easing his concerns about riding the bus.  Joseph will be able to see Elias off to school with me since Baltimore County still has a lot of power outages.  I'll post pictures tomorrow, of course.

Kindergarten, here we come!

I'm not looking forward to Monday and not because it's the end of the weekend and going back to work and all of that.  Oh, no.  I'm not looking forward to Monday because Elias starts kindergarten.

Yeah, that's right.  Kindergarten.  Yikes!

This is a big deal (as many of you mothers already know).   I have to put him on the bus and hope he gets to school.  A lot of interference can happen the mile and a half to school, such as: an accident, the school bus driver forgets where she's going and winds up in Nebraska, Elias gets left on the bus, or maybe doesn't make it from the bus to the actual school building, doesn't make it to the classroom, alien abduction. (It could happen, although highly improbable, I know, I know.  Nothing is impossible, by the way, it's just a question of probability, as a former economics professor sagely advised.  Just sayin'.)

Oh, and don't bother to say he'll be fine.  (Yes, I know this.)  Don't bother to tell me I'll be fine.  (Yes, I know this.)  Putting your kid on the bus for that very first day of kindergarten isn't about what you know.   It's about what you feel.

And I feel like I'm letting go of my kid.  And that's because I am.  For Elias, it's a small step toward independence and a giant leap toward autonomy.  Every time I catch myself starting to dwell on what could I possibly be thinking by putting my five year old on a bus driven by a person I don't know from Adam (or Eve as the gender may be) and trusting this person (and the universe) that the bus driver will get my kid, along with all the other kids, to school and is it too late to home school, I tell myself to shut up.  This isn't about me or my fears.  Going to kindergarten is about Elias learning new things, like how to read, which I think he will love, and making friends.  It's Elias's day to be excited, not wondering if he should be worried because his mother is just a little bit neurotic.  

So come Monday, a new beginning for us, and especially Elias and this just a bit neurotic, spazzy mom will be Ms. Excited Pollyanna and my kid will be off on an adventure!