Am I Good Enough?

As most of you know, I submitted my first manuscript, Alex and

Chase's story,  to the Golden Heart writer's contest sponsored by RWA. Winners of the Golden Heart earn recognition for writing an outstanding manuscript that is unpublished, which can pave the way for a publishing contract, though that is not a guarantee. 

Thank you all, by the way, for your heart felt good luck wishes when I announced my intention to enter the contest. Your support is tremendous and very much appreciated. Truly. I know that you believe in me as a writer and that's a boost to my ego, for sure.

Though now that I've submitted the manuscript, which has taken me well over 8 years to complete, I’m flooded with anxiety, truth be told. That scene I deleted? Maybe I should have kept it. That other scene? What if that was the scene I should have deleted instead? Is the manuscript tight enough? Good enough?

Winners won't be announced until March. That's a long time to brood. I try to distract myself by focusing on my second manuscript or writing blog posts, which has been difficult to maintain since I'm still recuperating from this fractured leg o' mine.  Although I can walk without crutches or a cane, I limp like Quasimodo and my leg and ankle are still very sore sometimes. Like everyone else healing their bodies long term, I have good days and bad days.  

One thing I know for certain is that there are a lot of really good writers out there, all of us trying to be heard. All of us vying for the attention of a publisher or an agent or readers. All of us writhing in equal parts doubt and confidence. As I put myself out there, so to speak, not everyone who reads my stuff will like it, which is the chance I have to take in order to find readers who do like my stories. 

I'm on a journey. Thankfully, you, dear gentle readers, have agreed to come along on this long distance marathon to keep me company. To reassure me. To bolster me. For that, I'm eternally grateful.