Kindergarten, here we come!

I'm not looking forward to Monday and not because it's the end of the weekend and going back to work and all of that.  Oh, no.  I'm not looking forward to Monday because Elias starts kindergarten.

Yeah, that's right.  Kindergarten.  Yikes!

This is a big deal (as many of you mothers already know).   I have to put him on the bus and hope he gets to school.  A lot of interference can happen the mile and a half to school, such as: an accident, the school bus driver forgets where she's going and winds up in Nebraska, Elias gets left on the bus, or maybe doesn't make it from the bus to the actual school building, doesn't make it to the classroom, alien abduction. (It could happen, although highly improbable, I know, I know.  Nothing is impossible, by the way, it's just a question of probability, as a former economics professor sagely advised.  Just sayin'.)

Oh, and don't bother to say he'll be fine.  (Yes, I know this.)  Don't bother to tell me I'll be fine.  (Yes, I know this.)  Putting your kid on the bus for that very first day of kindergarten isn't about what you know.   It's about what you feel.

And I feel like I'm letting go of my kid.  And that's because I am.  For Elias, it's a small step toward independence and a giant leap toward autonomy.  Every time I catch myself starting to dwell on what could I possibly be thinking by putting my five year old on a bus driven by a person I don't know from Adam (or Eve as the gender may be) and trusting this person (and the universe) that the bus driver will get my kid, along with all the other kids, to school and is it too late to home school, I tell myself to shut up.  This isn't about me or my fears.  Going to kindergarten is about Elias learning new things, like how to read, which I think he will love, and making friends.  It's Elias's day to be excited, not wondering if he should be worried because his mother is just a little bit neurotic.  

So come Monday, a new beginning for us, and especially Elias and this just a bit neurotic, spazzy mom will be Ms. Excited Pollyanna and my kid will be off on an adventure!